perfunctory post...

EDIT: last week, when i posted the lyrics to jim infantino's "stress," i was pulling them out of memory 10 years gone dry. found the real, whole song online & it's worth sharing:

©1993 Jim Infantino
covered by James Naughton

I'm addicted to stress that's the way that I get things done
if I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long
and I hang around like a bum
and I think I'm going nowhere and that makes me nervous
Everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's thinking about me.

It's the little things that get you it's the little things that get you,
it's the little things that get you when you weren't paying attention,
It's the little things that get you it's the little things that get you,
it's the little things that get you when you weren't paying attention.

I'm trying to cut down on my caffeine consumption
so when I get up I just have one cup of coffee
and I like to have another cup of coffee with my breakfast
and when I go to work I like to get a cup of coffee
like the kind of cup of coffee that you get with a doughnut
'cept I never get the doughnut I just get the cup of coffee
and when I get to work I like to have a cup of coffee '
cause I like to have a coffee when I'm talking on the phone
but It usually goes cold and I need to get another
cup of coffee and it's lunch and I have an espresso.
And when I get back it's not morning anymore
so I have a diet cola and another diet cola
and by then I'm feeling fine and I'm feeling pretty sharp
and I'm feeling pretty wired and I'm getting things done,
but right about two I get this little tiny migraine
and it starts behind my eyes and it moves to the back of my
neck and it moves to the bottom of my spine
but it doesn't get there until five or six o'clock
which is the end of the day so I'm fine so I'm fine so I'm fine so I'm fine,
except when I have to work late when I have to work late which I usuallydo.

I'm addicted to stress that's the way that I get things done
if I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long
and I hang around like a bum
and I think I'm going nowhere and that makes me nervous
Everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's thinking about me.

I love to work I love to run I love to play real hard
I love to steal little things from the grocery store
like a piece of bubble gum or sometimes I just stick my thumb in a peachand leave it there.
I love to work I love to run I love to waterski, snowboard, jetski, skydive,
parasail, hang-glide, rollerblade, mountainbike, bungy-jump,
well I mean I'd love to do theses things if I ever had the time,
I love to work I love to work, I love to work out after work,
I love to spend a little time with this woman that I'm seeing
'cept we never really get a little time to spend together
so we call each other up and we talk about work.
But what I think I'd really love is to get out by myself
on a little tiny island in the middle of the ocean
with just me and a book and a cellular phone
and a personal computer incase something came up
and I'd eat and I'd drink and I'd run and I'd sleep
and I wouldn't do nothing except swim all day
'cept my beeper doesn't work under water,
where are the sharks? where are the sharks?
and there's this kind of anemone
that sticks in your foot and the poison goes up to your brain and you die
and sand fleas? sand fleas - yuck!
but actually I think it'd be really relaxing
just me by myself in the middle of the ocean
and that's what I'd really love to do more than anything else
except I'd probably hate it.

I'm addicted to stress that's the way that I get things done
if I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long
and I hang around like a bum
and I think I'm going nowhere and that makes me nervous
Everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's out to get me but I feel alright,
everybody's thinking about me.

-------

last spring, when i was almost non-functioning and not coming to school, i assumed everyone was thinking about me and knew what a slacker i was. surely, they were whispered that i didn't deserve to be here, that i'm a nasty bitch who just ought to go back to burger king. that's funny, because that's what i was thinking about me.

when i finally snapped back into reality, i realized that i finally did have a role at the law school: as a foil for all those type-A personalities who feared God would strike them down if they didn't read all the hornbooks. i would be the poster child for depression: here's what happens to you when you beat yourself up too much! or, to strain another metaphor, i was the priestess for perfectionists. classmates would confess how behind they were in their reading, how they feared they just weren't made to be lawyers. we'd swap secrets about anti-depressants and trade casenotes outlines. hell: anyone could talk to me. having dropped one class and taken an incomplete in another, i certainly wasn't going to judge them.

so, if you feel like shit right now: it's going to be allright. you don't have to wish you could go back to january and start it all over again. you don't have to dream of being 7 and playing in the backyard with your dog. it is possible to plug on and get it done. if you want to confess your worst law school fears here, well, then shoot. and if not, happy thoughts are going your way.

or, if humor suits you better, here's a reminder that you're not the most nerotic person on earth.

a ditty from Jim Infantino, folk singer:
"i'm addicted to stress cuz that's the way that i get things done.
and if i don't think about it then i sleep too long,
and i hang around like a bum
and i'm never going to make it
and that makes me nervous.

cuz the world is out to get me
but i feel allright.
the world is out to get me
but i feel allright.
the world is out to get me
but i feel allright.
EVERYBODY'S THINKING 'BOUT ME!"